What did you get from work for Christmas?

I bet you didn't get Jesus themed generic chocolate candy from a very strange (but very nice...in a very scary overzealous Christianly kind of way) co-worker.....

I DID.

Also, in my little bag-o-goodies was this adorable little jar, complete with a top reading "Pour toi avec amour" (translated "for you with love"). Too bad I don't have that horrible cocaine addiction anymore, this would have been PERFECT for my mirror!

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I am not. I just like making fun of people who think I am evil because I have tattoos and enjoy drinking adult beverages with gay people with tattoos and I say 'FUCK YOU ASSHAT' a lot.

Happy Holidays!!!!

Oh no she didn't...

Well, HELLO there! I know it has been a hot minute since I have written but I have good reason. I HAVE A JOB!!! I started back in June, and today makes my 6 month mark with them. I’m at another law firm in Downtown Savannah. Except this time I have an AWESOME view, sadly though, not hot lesbian to take smoke breaks with. On the 13th floor (yes, 13, no, they didn't ‘take out the 13th floor’ as my brother-in-law thought…fucking idiot).

Windows on one side face east, down the Savannah River toward Tybee Island.

And the other windows face south toward Savannah. The bird is my friend Craven (named because Jessica and I couldn’t decide if he was a Crow or a Raven, hence Craven).

In other news…Catie (the sister/cousin) FINALLY got married. They have been together for 8 years and have a beautiful baby girl, Brooklyn (the little milk chocolate bundle of adorableness standing in front of the Bride). And no, we did not kidnap some random young black girl, that is one of the Groom’s nieces. (That's me, just to the right of the Bride, I was the Maid of Honor).

Master Wog and I still going strong. Just celebrated our 7th anniversary last month. AND he got contacts and a NORMAL beard. So handsome.

Last month also marked the 2nd anniversary of my mother’s death. And today would have been her 49th birthday. It has been rough, but I know she is probably dry humping Patrick Swayze right now, so my mind is at ease.

We also lost one of our cats back in July. We had no choice but to put Flea down. But I am positive that Mom is taking care of him (in between Swayze humpings, of course). This is my most favorite picture of Flea, he was sunning in my reading chair.)

Other than all of that, we took in a stray in June. And by stray I mean my forty something unemployed uncle. At first it was lovely, he helps cook and clean, BUT he has a move out deadline of December 30th. We can’t take it anymore. No extra play money, and there is always, ALWAYS a third wheel. How in the hell are Master Wog and I supposed to boink in the living room in front of the fireplace like savages if there is a grown man sitting there watching the National Geographic Channel and insisting that he knows a guy who knew a guy who was in Africa and killed the mother of the elephant that was just on TV with a sling shot from 100 yards away... Right...mmmhmmm...sure...

I sure do miss sharing all of my drunken, stupid, meaningless, idiotic and HI-larious stories with ya'll. My goal is to return like I never left. So, here I am!!!! Now buy me a drink.