I was in the room for the delivery and may I just say…I am never having fucking children. Fuckin. OW. Ok, ok, so I will have kids, but none of that pushing crap. Just cut me, pull 'em out, and sew me back up. Oh, and give me drugs. LOTS OF DRUGS.
She is beautiful. And I am so proud of Catie for getting through it. Although, it still makes my vagina cringe just a little. Fortunately, I have at least three years before I start having children, thanks to my little friend, Implanon.
As I have mentioned before, I lost my mom back in November. As I have not mentioned, I was with her when she passed. Catie and I were there, I was holding mom's hand and Catie was holding mine. Some people have said that I shouldn't have been in the room with her, I feel as if she wanted me there. It is a moment in my life that I will never forget. The fact that Catie shared that moment with me, meant the world. She was with me when one special life ended, I was with her when another began.
I cannot begin to express how emotional I was when she was born. Just knowing that this was a whole new chapter, and the beginning of the next generation. I know that mom was there, or somewhere, watching, having a beer and coaching Catie, laughing at her. I know that she would have been just as proud as I was to watch Catie bring life into this world. And she would have giggled at how many times one woman (in labor) can say FUCK in an hour.
When mom was in Hospice, Catie was almost 7 months pregnant. I gave her and Brooklyn's dad the idea to name the baby after mom. They had already planned to name her Brooklyn Rayne. I told her it sounded like a stripper's name (we DO in fact know a stripper named Reign). Catie was not allowed to name her Mariah Larkin. That is my shit, got it on lock down. Mom named me after her when I was born. The Exact. Same. Name. We confused a lot of people over the years...Anywho...They decided on Brooklyn Riah (my mom's name being Mariah, in case you didn't just catch what I threw at you).
I think that fact makes it even more special to Catie and I. Maybe in some strange way, mom is part of Brooklyn. I can only hope that Brooklyn will grow up with the kind heart mom had. The understanding and patience. The love and compassion...
But most importantly, the ability to make the best damn grilled cheese sandwich ever.
She's beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mama!!
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I know this is supposed to be a happy entry, but I wonder a few things . . . .
ReplyDeleteI think I have read that many people who have lost a loved one, after the first couple of months (where the support is there) start to have some tough times.
Glorious birth. Just take care, sweetie.
Leesa, I believe that to be true. As a few months have passed, I really feel like I miss her more each day. It has gotten more difficult, but luckily I do have great friends, a wonderful boyfriend, and loving family to keep my head up. If mom taught me anything it is to be tough!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words.
I really cannot stress enough how important it is to make a perfect grilled cheese sandwich. I could use one today as a matter of fact!
ReplyDelete