It is about damn time

Mother's Day this year was tough. But I made it through! I've finally gotten to the point where I am ok to talk about it, but more importantly, I want to show ya'll what I made (Mama Dawg, be proud!) (please?).

This was the first Mother's Day without my mom. Granted, I have been through Thanksgiving, Christmas, her birthday, my birthday, my anniversary and my parent's anniversary, but it was Mother's Day...so, yeah, tough.

Every year I would make her something, write her something or at the very least break down and get her a sappy ass card (which she loved). I figured it wouldn't do much good to actually have bought something for her...I can just see her with her ethereal cane in one hand and a Bud Light in the other saying "I'm up HERE, Dumbass!"

Anywho...

I made this.

Back in February, I wrote this and in it was the Eulogy I wrote for my mom. At the end, I refer to her as a big bright star. When I saw this pendant (a shooting star), I immediately thought of her. She is my star. And, to this day, every night I walk outside and I see a star shining, twinkling down on me, I think of mom.

She'd be proud. I am.

Plus I look quite cute wearing the set and it coordinates with most of my outfits perfectly. Hehe...



And it compliments my make believe cleavage nicely...


Maybe tomorrow I will have my shit together long enough to take a few pics of the other jewelry I have made. Thanks to Mama Dawg for the inspiration!! I love the idea of creating something that I can enjoy, as well as other people.

Now, if I could only figure out how to sell them...

Big Red strikes again

Here is more proof.

Proof that this little son of a bitch is more intelligent than I could have ever imagined. He made a bed. Yes, a bed. To sleep on.


See?




I was in the kitchen cooking last night and glanced over at Redbird in the dining room, he had the can on his head again. I was thinking to myself, "Awesome! I can get another picture to show everyone that I didn't just throw the can on his head and take a picture!" I went to grab my camera, got back to his cage and realized the little fucker had pulled the sheet (that covers the back and sides of his cage so he doesn't shit all over the hardwood floors) inside of the cage just enough to make himself a comfortable little birdy bed.

After rudely waking him up, and him being VERY upset with me, he was ready for his close up.

He is an EVIL little shithead, but I'll be damned if he ain't purdy.

Time to give thanks...

First, foremost and sincerely, thanks to Kat for this loverly award!!


"These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers."

Being that I am just a wee bitty baby blogger in this huge awesomeness that is Blogdom, I sincerely appreciate this acknowledgement. It means a lot, Kat, thank you. I cannot wait to meet you next time you swing over this way, and by this way, I mean this country. You better be ready for some home cookin', karaoke, and some kisses from a GINORMOUS cat....and several critters of the furred kind.



Thanks again, Kat. It means more than you know.



Secondly, thanks to Kane,

For scavenging through the bathroom trash and scattering it ALL OVER the house. If it weren't for you eating it, I would have never found the tape (for my burn bandage) that I searched for all weekend but couldn't find. Turns out that I had accidentally thrown the other roll away. Now, after I bought more tape, I have a backup roll, so thanks Kane, I guess.

Lastly, thanks to the tree cutter down dudes who were cutting down a tree RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW and woke me up 15 minutes before I needed to be up. But, if you wouldn't have woken me up early, I would have been late for work anyway, so thanks, Fuckers.

I have stained my temple

I did it!!! Take a peep.



This is on the inside of my left leg. It is a twist on the Celtic symbol for sisterhood. It represents two women, sisters, being separate beings but are forever intertwined.

And........

This is the smiley face on my left wrist. For mom.




I am very proud of myself for finally doing it.

This is Catie's. I was glad to have experienced this with her. I know she is the one constant in my life and the only one who will love me no matter what. This just helps me to remember that.

I would also like to give a hughgiganticnormous hug and thanks to Jess, Krystal and Andy for hanging out with me the whole time. Jess, you have no idea how much I love you. Thank you twat swatter.

PROOF

That I am not as crazy as I usually sound.

Meet Redbird.



Meet Redbird sleeping with his best friend, Can, on his head.



You can't make this shit up. Every time Master Wog or myself try to take the can out of his cage, he goes absofuckinlutely nuts. I think this can in particular is about 4 years old. He really, truly, loves his can. He feeds it, plays with it, talks to it and best of all, sleeps with it on his head.

SO, I just let him have it. A happy Redbird, is a happy Larkin

'Nuff said.

Doin' it and doin' it and doin' it...well, finally

I’m finally doing it. I’m going to get my first tattoo tomorrow. Actually, my first two tattoos.

Catie (the cousin/sister/best friend/mother of Brooklyn) and I are getting matching Celtic Sisterhood symbols. Mine will be monochromatic black and gray. Hers will be all bright and stuff. This is what the Tattoo artist is going by.


I am also getting a smiley face on my left wrist. Why a smiley face? Glad you asked. For mom. She always signed her name with a smiley face. Whether it was a note in my lunch box at school, a birthday card, or just a ‘have a good day’ note. She loved smiley faces. I thought, what better way for me to never forget her than to put a simple, small smiley face on my wrist.

Wish me luck.

P.S. Jess will be there through the entire thing, I'm sure she will have awesome commentary about how much of a wussy I am. Gotta love her.

Michelangelo...as in Michelob

I was tagged by Jess to do this, so here I go…

What are your current obsessions?
Making jewelry planting a tree and original Skittles. I am also a huge local news junkie. Not so much national news. And E! News. Fortunately the local news comes on at 6 and E! News comes on at 7. They like me so they work around my schedule.

Which item from your wardrobe do you wear the most often?
My black cardigan(s). I have at least 3. During the winter it would be my knee high boots. I wear them everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

What’s for dinner?
Tonight, we are having baked turkey tenderloins with an Italian marinade, sour cream and chive mashed potatoes with cheddar cheese and corn. And brownies for dessert.

What is your greatest fear at the moment?
I don’t really know…I faced my biggest fear last year, when I lost my mother…now that I have been through and am dealing with that….I don’t really let anything scare me. Except roaches. Those motherfuckers are evil.

What are you listening to?
My boss hum to herself.

What are your favorite holiday spots?
My house. I have never really traveled. I am a stay at home kind of chick.

What are you reading right now?
I am reading a book about how to run a marathon. It is quite interesting and uberinspiring.

What is your guilty pleasure?
Skittles. I. AM. OBSESSED.

Who or what makes you laugh?
Oh dear…so many things. My friends, Jess mainly, can always make me giggle til I almost pee myself. My dogs, even when they eat my Oreos. And my cats, because they are just insane and high on Catnip most of the time. Oh yeah, and Master Wog.

What is your favorite Spring thing to do?
Stay inside in the AC (Evil, EVIL sun). Or plant stuff in my make-believe garden in the back yard. (it is make believe because everything I put in the ground dies.)

Where are you planning to travel next?
Good question. We don’t travel much but I would love to go back to DC to the Smithsonian.

What is the best thing you ate or drank lately?
I made some turkey tacos last night that were off the chain!

When was the last time you were tipsy?
Last week sometime. I know, a tragedy.

What is your favorite ever film?
My Fair Lady, What Dreams May Come and The Lion King. Hakuna Matata, bitches!!

What is the biggest life lesson you’ve learned from your kids?
I do not have children so I will tell you what I have learned from my dogs. Love unconditionally, share with your friends and don’t eat your poop. There you have it.

What book do you know you should read but refuse to?
The Good Earth. I know I should read it…but I got about ten pages in and it bored the shit out of me. I would totally have said the Bible, except I already read the damned thing.

What is your physical abnormality/abnormal physical ability?
That burn thing on my leg. Look it's pretty, and looks like the surface of Mars now.

And I can ‘pop’ nearly every join on my body.

What is your favorite color?
I like purple, but black and red beat up Tinky Winky and stole his lunch money.

Can the people outside your car hear the music playing inside your car?
Usually I try to turn it down when I am coming to a stop. But if I am riding….I blast it. And sing til my little heart is content.

In a perfect world, how many hours sleep would you get per night?
At least 14. Sleeping is what I am best at. Usually on Sunday I don’t move from the bed unless I have to pee. And sometimes I don’t even do that.

I pass this on to Mama Dawg! And I second Jess' tagging Mitzy. Do it now!

Burn Update: Day 49

Because I am on this let's-name-EVERYTHING kick, my burn will now be called Burney, I am so clever.

It is still there, and now hurts more than ever. Turns out in order for Burney to heal properly, it has to stay moist. (I know, we all grew up hearing, "it needs to breathe or it won't heal!" well, shove it, Grandma.) I have learned that when it dries out, it HURTS. And whatever is immediately over the wound will dry as well and stick to it. I have never known pain like that. Fucking. Ow.

This is no scab or paper cut, this is FRESH FLESH with no protection. Just to clarify.

The other night Burney woke me up at around 3am, I got up to see what it was screaming about, it had dried out and the gauze was now hard and almost crunchy and stuck in the wound. I left it alone and tried my best to get back to sleepy beddy bye. Got up around 8 to shower and get ready for work. All the while, Burney is throbbing and screaming at me to let him out. He had decided he was hot, and STRIPPED while I was asleep. the entire part that was covering him slid down PAST the wound and the outer gauze was now stuck in him. W. T. F. Burney?

I got it wet enough to get it unstuck, but all day yesterday the pain was almost excruciating.

Like, for real.

I went to Wound Care today and they are very pleased with the progress Burney has made over the last week or so. Most of the dead tissue is gone although there is a bit left on there. I may not have to do Maggot Therapy (uberbummer). But Burney has gotten smaller and is healing and that is what matters.

SO, my leg has not fallen off. Just thought you should know.

I took this the other day,

I thought it strangely resembled this weird looking thing...

I shall call him...Squishy

UPDATE: As of yesterday when I left work, Squishy was safely tucked away in an Azealea bush. Mom and Daddy Cardinal were still scolding him, and, best of all, I think I heard them say he could keep his XBOX!!


For the love of baby birds!!!





I found this little guy outside of our office. He is a baby Cardinal and I will call him Squishy. And me, being the Animal Rescuer I am, decided to take control of the situation....and by take control I mean stand over him and speak in baby bird....and by baby bird, I mean saying "Hey wittle birdie, did you wose your wittle way?"



I run back upstairs, call about 10 different vets here in Savannah to see if they would take him. No. None of the fuckers would. What am I supposed to do, bring the little shit home with me for my 7 animals to fight over?



No. There will be no Squishy for din-din.



I finally get a 'Wildlife Expert' on the phone who says to place him in a bush (haha...I said bush) and let mom and dad Cardinal feed him, scold him, and eventually take away his XBOX 360 for staying out too late, and to let nature take his course. So...



I go back downstairs to break it to the Squishy that he is just going to have to deal with it and that parents are just uncool sometimes. Eventually they will understand that he is a teenager and he is learning to find his way.



He is gone. AWESOME! Thanks Mom! Good lookin' out for the little bird. I even triple checked underneath the 2 cars that were out there.



He.



Was.



Gone.



I take a smoke break and discuss the American Idol semi-finale tonight with a couple of the girls here, turn to go back upstairs, Squishy is back. WTF. Dude, seriously? GO HOME. So now, I am back to putting him in a bush (hehe), and letting nature take it's course. His parents are still in the area, watching over him and hopefully feeding him so I think he will be ok.



By the way, you know that whole don't touch a baby bird because the parents will smell human on them and not accept them back into the nest?....Yeah, MYTH. Most birds can't smell. Weird.



By the way, again, I just finished typing this post and went out to go take a picture of Squishy and his momma was out there. She was all, "OH hell to the nah bitch, you best be leaving my baby alone!" Hopefully he will get his shit together and go home. Like a good little teenage Cardinal named Squishy should.

Woodrow Willow Woodpeckerson, III

Meet Woody.



He is my buddy. He and his family live in a tree right outside of our office, adjacent to our smoke-break table. We go out to smoke and he flies to the tree and starts chirping and hollering, almost saying, "what's up homies!!!" The past few days, I have noticed a strange new black bird hanging out near his home.

This is him.



Curious, I researched the two different species.

Woodrow, or Woody, as we lovingly refer to him, is a Red Bellied Woodpecker. The black fucker is an European Starling. He is evil, because I said so. In my research I discovered that the Starling, or Fuckhead, as I will now refer to him, is a very aggressive bird and will almost always steal a Red Belly's nest.

Then I realized, this SOB is trying to evict my Woody! WTF?! Hell to the Nah.

I go outside a few minutes later to find the two birds in a fierce battle for territory. (OK, it wasn't really 'fierce' per say, it was more like the Fuckhead looking down at Woody going "Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, you can't beat me.") That is when my craziness kicked in....I started yelling and throwing stuff at Fuckhead. Yeah, I know, weird. But that Mofo is lucky I didn't call the damn cops.

Fuckhead flies away, and then Woody hops down to a lower part of the tree and calls out to me like, "thanks". Like I said, he is my friend.

I saved his ass this time by throwing dirt and mulch and yelling. Next time, I am bringing my imaginary BB gun and pegging his ass.

In the meantime, I did manage to catch a few nice pics of Woody and his house. Enjoy.

Because I STILL know NO ONE is sick of my burn yet...

Well, the good news is that it is healing. The bad news is that I developed a strange rash directly behind the wound on the back of my leg over the weekend. So far, the rash is not Cellulitis, like I feared. It is just a rash from an allergic reaction I had with the dressings they were using. So, now, they can't tape the bandage on, they have to do this...



Yeah, overkill, I know. But at least it is healing.

I guess now when I hop out of my car (that belonged to my mother, that STILL has her handicap tag on it) I kind of look like it is for me.

But don't worry, I do not illegally park in handicapped parking places.

Unless it is 2am.

And Jessica is with me.

And we are going to a bar.

I only did it once!! I swear!!!

Bye ya'll.