Woodrow Willow Woodpeckerson, III

Meet Woody.



He is my buddy. He and his family live in a tree right outside of our office, adjacent to our smoke-break table. We go out to smoke and he flies to the tree and starts chirping and hollering, almost saying, "what's up homies!!!" The past few days, I have noticed a strange new black bird hanging out near his home.

This is him.



Curious, I researched the two different species.

Woodrow, or Woody, as we lovingly refer to him, is a Red Bellied Woodpecker. The black fucker is an European Starling. He is evil, because I said so. In my research I discovered that the Starling, or Fuckhead, as I will now refer to him, is a very aggressive bird and will almost always steal a Red Belly's nest.

Then I realized, this SOB is trying to evict my Woody! WTF?! Hell to the Nah.

I go outside a few minutes later to find the two birds in a fierce battle for territory. (OK, it wasn't really 'fierce' per say, it was more like the Fuckhead looking down at Woody going "Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, you can't beat me.") That is when my craziness kicked in....I started yelling and throwing stuff at Fuckhead. Yeah, I know, weird. But that Mofo is lucky I didn't call the damn cops.

Fuckhead flies away, and then Woody hops down to a lower part of the tree and calls out to me like, "thanks". Like I said, he is my friend.

I saved his ass this time by throwing dirt and mulch and yelling. Next time, I am bringing my imaginary BB gun and pegging his ass.

In the meantime, I did manage to catch a few nice pics of Woody and his house. Enjoy.