Holy Lizard Spit, Batman!!

Leave it to Paula Deen to bring me back into the blogging world. Some of you may remember this post I wrote a while ago about how much I DESPISE PAULA DEEN. I respect her as a business woman (sort of) but despise the way that she portrays herself (as a blue haired alien who talks like Scarlett and eats only butter, lard and the hearts of little puppies). And now she has announced she is a type 2 diabetic. FOR REAL??? Nah!! You mean those Krispy Kreme sandwiches ARE NOT healthy?? This is not only a big deal for me because I am a type 2 diabetic, but because my mother was too. Diabetes is a huge part of my life, hell, it IS my life. I’m pissed that she waited this long (3 years) to come forward with her disease. Now some of you might argue that even though she is a celebrity, she is entitled to her privacy. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. Had she been promoting a healthy lifestyle and that aforementioned sandwich was on wheat bread, I may not feel the same. But because of the lifestyle and food she was promoting, and (to a point) convincing the rest of the world we are all blue haired aliens who talk like Scarlett and eats only butter, lard and the hearts of little puppies, I’m angry with her. Don’t even get me started on her drug endorsement…

Now, to the important shit I actually wanted to tell you…

After watching my mother lose her battle in 2008 from this disease I hit a point in my life in November where I knew I had to make a decision. Am I going to take care of myself, like I should, and live a long healthy life? Or am I going to do what my mother did and slowly wither away after years of uncontrolled diabetes. Well that ain’t gonna fucking happen.

As of December 1^st, I have lost 22lbs. I watch what I eat. I changed medications and I have limited my alcohol intake to 2 – 3 days a week. I stopped taking insulin and started a new medication, Byetta, in the beginning of December. I am sure you are all, please Larkin, tell me more!!! Funny you should ask, because I am about to pimp the shit out of this diabetes drug.

Byetta is not insulin. If you’d like to read what it REALLY is, you can go here. I am going to tell you what I understand about it. It was developed from the saliva of the Gila Monster. Some awesome scientist somewhere said to themselves, “hmm, the Gila only eats once every few months, so surely something makes his food digest slowly and makes it possible that the lizard survives…hmmm…” Because of this, it is sometimes referred to as "Lizard Spit" which I think is just fucking awesome. I inject it twice daily, up to an hour before each meal. The really cool part, it makes my pancreas work. It actually makes my body produce my own insulin (rather than injecting myself with insulin before each meal, like I did for years). It has aided in me losing weight and will continue to do so. The only negative side effect: Nausea and the occasional bad headache. I have projectile vomited several times. But it really takes some getting used to. And I have had to teach myself what I can and cannot eat on this drug. I have experienced blood sugar that is a little higher than I would like, but that all seems to be calming down and everything on track.

And on that note, I leave you with this… a gift of EPIC proportions, from the awesome Jess.