I wrote this back in August, but I felt that my new friends should know....
I was flipping through the channels last night to find something interesting or in the least bit entertaining last night to watch before my usual Monday night guilty pleasure, Intervention, when I happened upon QVC. Now don't get me wrong, I can sit and watching the mind numbing home shopping network for at least an hour (before I catch myself and realize I am behaving like a 70 year old woman) and then turn the channel. Last night was different. I was totally mind fucked by Savannah's own Paula Deen. Not until last night did I realize just how much I despise this woman, and her little restaurant too. I cannot put my finger on exactly what it is I hate about her. The fact that she said, REPEATEDLY, that you can't buy Smithfield Bacon in the store. BULLSHIT WOMAN, you can buy it at Food Lion, or Kroger, Or Piggly Wiggly. For the record you can go here to see where in your neck of the woods you can purchase it. Or the fact that she talks like some hybrid blue haired hillbilly from hell.
*I would like to add that I am from Savannah, born and bred. I say ya'll. But I do NOT talk like that. Neither does anyone in my family. Or anyone I work with. Or, in fact, anyone else IN SAVANNAH*
Maybe it was the fact that her macaroni and cheese was almost $50 for 6lbs (Stouffers anyone?) because it has the mark of the beast (in this case the mark of the beast is Lady and Sons brand). Maybe it is because she is a hybrid blue haired hillbilly from hell that runs on butter, batter and bacon grease. I can't stand her. And if I hear her say 'Hey ya'll, I'm Paula Deen!' One more mother fucking time I am going to stab myself in the eye with a plastic spork.
Just thought the world should know.
Let's not forget this either. She is out to rule the world and kill us all.