I Wanna Talk About Me

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Savannah, Georgia, United States
As you can see, I am still just me. 27 years old, born and raised in Savannah, Georgia. Almost 9 years into a relationship with the man I gave my heart to. We are the proud parents of 3 dogs and 2 cats. You will see them all here, a lot. I lost my mother November 18, 2008. I am now struggling to live life without her, but I have an amazing boyfriend and fantastic friends to help me through. Oh, and Duct Tape is the best invention. EVER.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Do Not Mess With My Bacon

I wrote this back in August, but I felt that my new friends should know....

I was flipping through the channels last night to find something interesting or in the least bit entertaining last night to watch before my usual Monday night guilty pleasure, Intervention, when I happened upon QVC. Now don't get me wrong, I can sit and watching the mind numbing home shopping network for at least an hour (before I catch myself and realize I am behaving like a 70 year old woman) and then turn the channel. Last night was different. I was totally mind fucked by Savannah's own Paula Deen. Not until last night did I realize just how much I despise this woman, and her little restaurant too. I cannot put my finger on exactly what it is I hate about her. The fact that she said, REPEATEDLY, that you can't buy Smithfield Bacon in the store. BULLSHIT WOMAN, you can buy it at Food Lion, or Kroger, Or Piggly Wiggly. For the record you can go here to see where in your neck of the woods you can purchase it. Or the fact that she talks like some hybrid blue haired hillbilly from hell.

*I would like to add that I am from Savannah, born and bred. I say ya'll. But I do NOT talk like that. Neither does anyone in my family. Or anyone I work with. Or, in fact, anyone else IN SAVANNAH*

Maybe it was the fact that her macaroni and cheese was almost $50 for 6lbs (Stouffers anyone?) because it has the mark of the beast (in this case the mark of the beast is Lady and Sons brand). Maybe it is because she is a hybrid blue haired hillbilly from hell that runs on butter, batter and bacon grease. I can't stand her. And if I hear her say 'Hey ya'll, I'm Paula Deen!' One more mother fucking time I am going to stab myself in the eye with a plastic spork.
Just thought the world should know.


Let's not forget this either. She is out to rule the world and kill us all.


  1. I think I left a spork in the bottom drawer of my desk. Just sayin.

  2. Eh...I'm not a Paula Deen fan either. I don't hate her, but it's only cause I don't give a shit either way.

  3. I found the spork. And the creepy pic of Mr. S. from like a bajillion years ago. Weirdo.

    Mama, I think I definitely dislike her immensely. Maybe not so much hate. I still want to punch her in the head. Just to see if butter comes out.

  4. "Just to see if butter comes out"......that totally made me LOL (I hate that, but what else are you gonna do to convey laughing hysterically at something?).

  5. Didn't she make a hamburger using donuts as buns? Personally, I think she's an Al-Qaeda plant. Terrorism is too hard so she's gonna kill all y'all (heh heh) with heart disease.

  6. Freakin computer! That last one was me, BTW.