For the love of baby birds!!!
I found this little guy outside of our office. He is a baby Cardinal and I will call him Squishy. And me, being the Animal Rescuer I am, decided to take control of the situation....and by take control I mean stand over him and speak in baby bird....and by baby bird, I mean saying "Hey wittle birdie, did you wose your wittle way?"
I run back upstairs, call about 10 different vets here in Savannah to see if they would take him. No. None of the fuckers would. What am I supposed to do, bring the little shit home with me for my 7 animals to fight over?
No. There will be no Squishy for din-din.
I finally get a 'Wildlife Expert' on the phone who says to place him in a bush (haha...I said bush) and let mom and dad Cardinal feed him, scold him, and eventually take away his XBOX 360 for staying out too late, and to let nature take his course. So...
I go back downstairs to break it to the Squishy that he is just going to have to deal with it and that parents are just uncool sometimes. Eventually they will understand that he is a teenager and he is learning to find his way.
He is gone. AWESOME! Thanks Mom! Good lookin' out for the little bird. I even triple checked underneath the 2 cars that were out there.
He.
Was.
Gone.
I take a smoke break and discuss the American Idol semi-finale tonight with a couple of the girls here, turn to go back upstairs, Squishy is back. WTF. Dude, seriously? GO HOME. So now, I am back to putting him in a bush (hehe), and letting nature take it's course. His parents are still in the area, watching over him and hopefully feeding him so I think he will be ok.
By the way, you know that whole don't touch a baby bird because the parents will smell human on them and not accept them back into the nest?....Yeah, MYTH. Most birds can't smell. Weird.
By the way, again, I just finished typing this post and went out to go take a picture of Squishy and his momma was out there. She was all, "OH hell to the nah bitch, you best be leaving my baby alone!" Hopefully he will get his shit together and go home. Like a good little teenage Cardinal named Squishy should.
You have all kinds of cute and adorable wildlife around there! I am jealous! We just have that schizophrenic squirrel running around trying to slash tires and stuff.
ReplyDeleteAwwww.....If I didn't have a big old crush on you before, I do now! I've rescued countless birds over the years. Other animals, too.
ReplyDeleteOMG your post's title CRACKED. ME. UP!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteI say that allllllllllllllllllll the time. In fact I call Jess "Squishee". LOL
Too damn funny. LOL
Anyhoo -- you sound like my friend Katie w/ the animal rescue genes. ;)
Mitzy - If you need a home for that squirrel, we will mos def take him hee. We need some tires to be slashed.
ReplyDeleteMama - I am an animal rescuing whore, I will admit. I am a lover of all things furry and feathered! Even if they are being rebellious teenagers.
Tina - Thanks!! I actually credit that to a friend of mine, she said it one day and I thought it was the funniest thing ever! I think I may have to start refering to Master Wog as Squishy. Yes, I think I will!
Squishy looks like he needs a haircut. Maybe that is why he ran away from home, mom told him to cut his hair.
ReplyDeleteOk, you told me about this yesterday on the phone while waiting for Bobby to be scanned, but seeing it in picture and writing is SO MUCH FUNNIER!! LMAO! I love it...now let's go smoke...
ReplyDeleteKat - He does, maybe his parents told him he couldn't sport a mohawk at Catholic Cardinal Church. Cardinal Cardinal would expel him.
ReplyDeleteJess - Is he not the most adorable thing EVER! It was quite difficult to convince him to go home. But it worked! Ok, let's go smoke.